Note, if you take the action suggested at the end of this article, please feel free to come back and report the results you got from your free listings — I forgot to say that earlier.

People do dangerous things when they’re lonely. This man jumped into a polar bear’s cage.

That could have been painful. But looking for love is often painful.

I remember seeing a talk show on a cable channel a couple years back.

The title of the show was something like “Why can’t this guy get a date”.

The guy being interviewed was lonely and turning 40. He’d never had a successful love life. He’d had a couple girlfriends along the way, but they were needy wrecks, who caused more heartache than happiness.

Every night when he went to bed he “massaged himself asleep.”

And every morning he would “massage himself awake.”

[That's how they said it.]

And he said that he almost always fantasized about women he knew in the past.

He would dream about how he could have handled situations differently so he could “get the girl” this time.

The host asked him if he’d heard of Mystery and other “pickup gurus” who “get a different woman every night.”

And he answered that he didn’t want a different woman every night.
He just wanted a good woman to be his companion and sexual partner. Someone he enjoys and respects — and who could enjoy and respect him.

Why was this guy so lonely?

As I watched him, I could see that he seemed shy, and seemed to have low self-esteem. He was overweight, but not terribly.

The interviewer asked him what things he had done to try to meet women.

“I try to meet them in bookstores, coffee shops and grocery stores. Stuff like that.”

Then the host suggested that the guy might try finding women in bars and night clubs.

And I remember thinking that that was terrible advice.

In fact, . . .

Bars and Nightclubs are the Last Place

that guy should try to meet women.

And it’s not just because this guy was pushing 40 and had a lot to learn about presenting himself in night clubs.It’s mainly because this guy was looking for “true love”.

And, if you’re looking for true love, bars and night clubs are probably the last place you should look.

Most of the time, after trying to meet women in a night club, you’ll wind up in one of these three conditions:

1. Still lonely (the most likely outcome for this guy)
2. With a woman you don’t enjoy.
3. With a woman you don’t respect.

Is it possible to find true love in a night club?

Sure. It happens sometimes.

But it’s more a place to find someone to “blow off some steam” with.

If you’re young, or just looking for some casual sex, and you don’t mind if the woman isn’t someone you really enjoy and respect, then your chances are actually pretty good in a nightclub, once you get some game.

But if you’re “looking for love”, it’s not the place to go.

This is going to sound strange coming from someone who teaches men how to meet women on their own — how to meet perfect strangers, and have them glowing and attracted, but . . .

I think that if you’re at the place in life where you just want to settle down with someone you’re really well matched with, there’s an option out there that’s amazingly effective.

Chemistry

You’ve probably heard about it.

It was started in consultation with Dr. Helen Fisher.  She is probably the number one scientific expert on relationships in the world.

eHarmony has their “47 dimensions of compatibility”.  Those are good, but somewhat arbitrary compared to the science behind chemistry.com.

There are two parts to the initial profile you fill out.  The first part takes about 10 minutes, and the second 5 minutes.

But for your effort you get something in return.

An incredible screening process.

I took it for a spin, and was amazed:

The first question was based on a piece of science I learned about a year ago.

Some of the questions were kind of fun

The initial free matches they gave me made my heart stop.

You need to
understand something . . .

When I flirt and attract women in my normal life, I can get women attracted to me pretty easily now.  But it’s RARE to talk with one of the women and think “you and I would be a great match”.

When I saw the first 10 matches, no kidding, . . . 8 of the 10 made me think “wow, you and I could be a great match.”

No kidding.

Also . . .

I’ve seen evidence over the last couple years to know the power of preselection.

For instance:

My sister has a friend who was the classic “old maid”. 42 years old, never even been kissed. She came over to my house sat at my computer, and filled out the questionaires.

She  got a paid membership and soon had 14 “suitors”. Eventually she picked one. They started dating. I met the guy recently. And, I must admit, they seem perfect together. We’re expecting a wedding announcement soon.

So what are you saying, T.P.?

Should I Join Chemistry.com?

I’m not saying that you should join Chemistry.com.

If you like the thrill of meeting someone by chance, and want to become a man who can charm women anywhere, any time, then, by all means, stay on the course of learning how to flirt, and attract women on a “Do It Yourself” basis.

I enjoy that lifestyle, and that’s what I teach.

However, if you’d like to see what it’s like to meet someone who is highly screened, and highly likely to be someone you instantly hit it off with.

If you’d like to have a very good chance of meeting someone you will enjoy and have deep respect for, . . .

and someone who is likely to enjoy you, and have deep respect for you . . .

Then I’d say, go for it. Give it a shot. See what happens.

And you don’t have to choose one method over the other — you can have it both ways.

At least 
fill out their initial questionaire

and see how your initial matches come out.

[Hint:  Don't select a 250 mile radius at first.  Select something like 25.  I think they tend to give you women toward the outskirts of your area for the free listings.  So if you want to have a chance of possibly recognizing one of the women in the free listings -- wouldn't that be nice -- you should try to find them close to home]

You never know what you’ll find.

Best wishes.

Sincerely,

T.P.

P.S. It’s really a matter of odds. When it comes to finding “true love”, being “good with women” can actually be a hinderance. You can get so many incompatible women attracted to you, it’s tough to know when you’ve found a keeper.

Here’s the link again:

Chemistry

Note, if you sign up and get your free listings, please come back here and post your impressions of the women you get matched up with. You get 10 free listings. Let us know how many interest you.

It would be a great encouragement to everyone who reads this. Thanks in advance. T.P.