How a Positive Mental Attitude
Can HURT Your Chances With Women.

I don’t think you should work at having a positive mental attitude. I think it can hurt your chances with women. In fact, I think it can hurt your chances of success in almost any endeavor. Toward the end of this article I’ll tell you which attitude will help you attract women more.

But first,

here’s the problem with a

positive mental attitude . . .

A couple years back I was reading in a forum devoted to dating and attraction. And someone suggested that the best way to get good approaching women was to approach 20 sets a night and try to get “blown out”.

For those of you who are new to the dating and attraction online community, “approaching 20 sets” means that you engage 20 women, or groups containing women, in at least a little chit chat. And getting “blown out” means that, at some point, they either go cold on you, walk away, or ask you to go away.

I also remember one of the main moderators of the forum, and a major personality in the field, telling the guy he thought it was a terrible idea.

What do you think?

A) Good idea.

B) Terrible idea.

Before I tell you my answer, let me tell you that the moderator believed guys should go into every set believing 100% that they would succeed with this set.

OK, now, my answer is that I have a qualified agreement with the poster, and not the moderator.

Let me qualify the answer a bit. I’m not sure it’s the best idea to go in and “try” to get blown out. But I do think . . .

it’s good to go in and
EXPECT to get blown out.

Let me explain.

Here are two alternatives:

Approach Attitude # 1: When you approach a woman you should believe 100% that you will succeed in attracting her, and eventually getting her into bed and/or a relationship.

Approach Attitude # 2: When you approach a woman you should believe that it probably won’t go anywhere, but you’re going to take your chances anyway.

There are some things to be said in favor of a positive attitude:

One idea behind having the positive attitude is that having a positive attitude will motivate you more.

Another is that will help you get into the frame of mind of a man who always gets the girl, and the girl will pick up on this and assume you’re good with women and will be more attracted to you.

Some people also believe in a new-age type process that ensures that if you release your positive intention into the universe, the universe will help you find a way to get what you want, if only you truly believe.

HOWEVER, . . .

Suppose, in spite of your evidence to the contrary, you manage to believe you will definitely succeed on your next approach. And suppose you approach a woman, and it doesn’t go that well. What then? Do you beat up on yourself for not “believing enough”?

Do you “trick” yourself yet again? Do you forget all your past failures, and pretend you’re superman again before the next approach?

At what point are you a pathetic delusional over-optimist?

At what point do you stop believing your own bullshit?

A positive mental attitude eventually wears thin. And it can keep you from looking frankly at your interactions so you can figure out what actually works, and what doesn’t in the real world.

So, . . .

What attitude should you have?

Mark this down.

It’s the key attitude for success in any field.

Key Success Attitude: “Expect to fail, but try anyway”

And this should be paired with a followup rule:

Key Followup Rule: “Learn something from each interaction, adjust your approach, and try again.”

This is how Edison created the first viable lightbulb.

This is how good businesses grow.

This is how you get better at video games and sports.

This is how you get better with women.

Now, the initial attitude is very important for approaching women. But there’s a lot more to it than that. You also need some things to say, and you need to experience enough responses from women, so you can handle contingencies as they come up. (In other words, you know that “if she says or does X, I say or do Y”).

If you want to get good approaching women, here’s my advice.

If you haven’t read my book yet, get it, read it, and start building your flirting skills (it really teaches you the process of learning from failure, modifying your approach, and eventually having a great line for every situation):

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/flirting_deconstructed.php

(Note, the price will be rising soon, so get it while it’s cheap.)

If you have read Flirting Deconstructed, then, second, . . .

If you haven’t read Joseph Matthew’s “Art of Approaching” guide, get that and read it. (if you can’t afford his paid book, at least get the free book he’s offering — but you’d better be seriously poor to not want this serious shortcut to getting good with women for such a pittance. Women can sense it when a man isn’t willing to take charge of his own destiny! For a little more, he offers coaching, too.):

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/go/aoa.php

Once you’ve read both of those, then get out there and keep trying, keep learning, and keep adjusting. You will get good.

Take care.

Sincerely,

T.P.

P.S. I’d love to know your comments on this post. It’s something I’ve been wanting to share for a while.