At first I thought it was kind of cute. You know what I’m talking about, right?

As I eavesdropped on the conversation, though, I very quickly understood that this guy knew what he was doing. The girl did, too, but then the girl always knows what’s going on. It’s guys who are usually clueless.

When they walked out, about 30 minutes later. I was almost 100% sure they were heading for one of their places to have some fun together.

Now, 3 or so years ago, I would have had no clue what was going on. In fact, I would have guessed that the guy was “blowing it”. He wasn’t demonstrating enough value. He wasn’t generating enough attraction. He wasn’t doing it the way Mystery or Style or any of the guru pickup artists would tell him to do it.

But three years later, this last Monday, because of the writing and thinking and gaming I’ve done over the last 3 years, I could clearly see what was going on.

This guy was a complete natural, and what would seem like ordinary boring conversation was actually extremely sexual and arousing to the girl.

I could see it, in part, because that’s how I’ve been doing it the last 6 months or so, too.

Basically, through ordinary boring conversation, this guy steadily negotiated what kind of relationship they would have together, and worked out all the logistics.

And they NEVER actually said any of these things directly.

They told stories about “friends”.

They talked about movies they liked that had different scenarios in them, and they felt out how each other felt about various scenarios.

Why does this work?

Basically this guy had a clear idea about his outcome, and he steadily got all the logistics worked out as they “chit chatted”. He reinforced things that got them closer to his outcome, and steered away from things that might take them further away. He communicated very clearly to her, in a way she completely vibed with, and in a way that most guys would have never understood.

He knew what he wanted, learned what she was game for, and got it worked out quickly.

This guy’s natural method was deadly effective. And it was completely respectful of the woman he was with.

So, how do you do seduce women discreetly like this yourself?

There are some techniques involved.

And there is some theory involved.

But not much.

And you don’t need to start with the techniques. In fact, you should NOT start with the techniques.

You must start with your sense of purpose. You must exercise your “purpose muscles”. You must become more alpha. You must become the kind of guy who knows exactly what he wants and is used to making it happen.

Then, and only then, you can work on communicating what you want to the girl in a subtle, discreet and speedy way.

Then, and only then, you can find the stories and examples to talk about with her that move the two of you toward your goal. In fact most of these can just flow from ordinary conversation. You don’t need to have anything “rehearsed” — though it can help to have a story or two to fall back on.

Now,

Speaking of “discreet and confidential” . . .

And speaking of alpha male . . .

My friend John Alexander has spent years studying what the true meaning of “alpha male” is. It’s not what you think. It has a lot more to do with your sense of purpose than with how you dress or talk.

If you’re serious about attracting women, you will have much more success if you figure out how to be an alpha male than if you learn all the flirting and attraction routines in the world.

And John’s guide comes to you “discreet and confidential”.

Check it out. Buy it. Do the exercises. Become Alpha.

Peace.

Tyler.

Tyler here again.

I’ve got a couple more flirting lines to share with you.

Remember, your flirting lines should fit together with three things: 1) the situation you’re in, 2) the girl you’re with, and 3) your own personality.

The best way to get a feel for effective flirting is 1) understand the principles behind good flirting, and 2) to see lots of good examples.

Well, I’ve got two more examples for you, and, just like last time, for each line, I’ll tell you the situation, and the response. Then I’ll discuss why it works.

==============
SITUATION 1
==============
The situation for the first line is this: You’re with a girl, and she says she has a boyfriend.

Your response: Well, he called in sick. I’m his replacement. (credit brass)

Discussion: most guys give up when a girl says she has a boyfriend. While I’m not a fan of messing up a good relationship, I’m also not a fan of giving up the first time a girl “claims” to have a boyfriend. There are many possibilities. 1) She doesn’t have a boyfriend, but doesn’t want to look desperate, so she claims to have a boyfriend. 2) She’s tired of her boyfriend, and wants to have fun with you, and she just wants to get her situation out in the open. Most girls don’t stay with the same boyfriend forever, and they almost never give up an old boyfriend without securing a new one first. That’s just the way it works, so maybe she’s ready to switch. 3) She does have a boyfriend, and she’s madly in love with him. If this is the case, I would advise you to move on. There are so many less complicated and less dangerous situations out there to pursue. There’s no need to go there simply to stroke your ego. Plus, your chances will be much less anyway.

Since you don’t know what her real situation is, you might as well stay in there with something funny and warmly dominant, and see how she reacts. If she starts flirting back, you’ll know the boyfriend either isn’t real, or doesn’t have her heart. And, if she’s committed and happy, she’ll let you know.

====================
Situation 2
====================
Situation: You’re talking with a girl and she says something that can be interpreted as bragging.

Reply: I think you just made that up to impress me. But don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. (credit da man)

Discussion: This line might not strike you as anything special, but, I’m here to tell you that if you really understand the structure of good flirting, this line is doing all the right things.

First, the frame is great. You’re interpreting her bragging as an attempt to impress you. When someone brags, they’re making a claim to high status. That can be dangerous for you if you validate her for it too much. But, with this line, you’re interpreting her high status signal as her attempt to measure up to your assumed high status — she’s trying to impress you.

Second, the line: “But don’t worry. I wont’ tell anyone” signals that you aren’t judgmental and can keep secrets. That can put a girl greatly at ease. If she has any naughty thoughts about what she wants to do with you later, it basically gives her permission and assures her that you won’t tell anyone. I go into more detail about this in my new book Avatar Seduction, but I think you can see the point here.

Third, it’s kind of humorous, and invites role playing. Always a good thing.
===============

Those are just two more of the hundreds of lines in the Flirting Tool. Again, the Flirting Tool is available for FREE for everyone who gets Flirting Deconstructed (which explains the principles behind good flirting).

Take care,

T.P.

P.S., I’d love your thoughts on these two flirt lines. I think they’re very good, but I want to know what you think. And if you think you can tweak them to make them even better, show us your stuff. Post your comments below.

Tyler here.

From time to time I want to share some fantastic flirting lines with you.

Your flirting lines always have to match three things: 1) the situation you’re in, 2) the girl you’re with, and 3) your own personality.

The best way to get a feel for effective flirting is 1) understand the principles behind good flirting, and 2) to see lots of good examples.

Some of the examples I present will be lines I came up with, and some will come from other guys — mostly from the trigger banter generator tool — more on that later.

For each line, I’ll tell you the situation, and the response. Then I’ll discuss why it works.

==============
SITUATION 1
==============
The situation for the first line is this: You’re with a girl, and she asks if you’re a “player”.

Your response: I’m not a player, baby. I’m the coach.

Discussion: most guys will freeze up at this point. The truth is, when you’re with an attractive woman, you ARE trying to game her. And you know it. So when she asks if you’re a player, it can be easy to freeze up, as if you’ve been caught.

This reply shows that you’re comfortable and very knowledgeable about women. It’s also funny, which is a plus.

====================
Situation 2
====================
Situation: You’re sitting near an attractive woman at a coffee shop, and she gets up to go to the bathroom. And before she leaves, she asks you to watch her stuff for her.

Reply: Watch your stuff? Why? Does it do tricks?

Discussion: This is just a playful way to start a little banter. If she’s game, she’ll play along and make something up. More importantly, it subcommunicates the idea that you’re not her subordinate. When she asks you to watch her stuff, she’s asking you to do something for her. Your reply tells her that in order for you to want to watch her stuff, she has to give you a reason that benefits YOU. It shifts the power balance back in your favor in a subtle and playful way.
===============

Those are just two of the hundreds of lines in the Flirting Tool. The Flirting Tool is available for FREE for everyone who gets Flirting Deconstructed (which explains the principles behind good flirting).

Take care,

T.P.

P.S., I’d love your thoughts on these two flirt lines. I think they’re hilarious (and effective), but I want to know what you think. And if you think you can tweak them to make them even better, show us your stuff. Post your comments below.

OK, so, if you’re on my flirting club email list, you know that there’s a brand new system coming out that promises to revolutionize your ability to attract women.

You also know that I think PROFILING women is a big part of succeeding.  And there are some profiling schemes out there.  Brett Tate has one scheme.  Robert Green has another.

But Vin Dicarlo seems to be onto a scheme that’s better than any other profiling scheme that’s come before.

And this is huge for you.  It means you can take one of two approaches when you go out, and succeed much more often with either approach:

1.  You can decide which of the 8 types you want to specialize in, identify them, and develop your approach to appeal to that specific type so you can succeed with that type of woman at a very high percent success rate.

OR

2.  You can take any attractive woman that comes along, determine her type, and then change your approach to match her type.

If you want to remain more “true to yourself”, you might want to take path #1.  If you’re more of a chameleon, and like the challenge of mastering all the types, you can take path #2.

Now Vin has been giving you some free tastes of this new system.  But, here’s the problem . . .

Vin’s not revealing everything yet.

But I can help some in this post,

So keep reading . . .

So far, Vin has given you a free book that explains how women fall on different sides of three dimensions, and this affects how you should approach them.

The three dimensions are:

Relationship: Some women are more stay at home, build a nest and cuddle with her man types.  Others are always up for adventure and get bored if cooped up too long.

Time: Most women want to find a quality man, but they have different strategies for finding Mr. Right.  Some want to date a bunch of guys and then choose the best of the bunch.  These respond to a cocky approach filled with intrigue.  Others want to find someone “good enough” and then change him into Mr. Right. These respond to charm and romance.

Sex: If there’s the hint of possibility in the air, and you want to get sexual with a woman, some of them need to be made to feel safe, while others simply need you to turn them on.

If you want to read his free book “One Minute Mind Reading”, you have to sign up to be on his list:

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/go/pandora.php

Now, Vin claims (and I find it very plausible from my experience) that if you take a woman who responds one way on any of these dimensions, and you approach her as if she were the other type, you’re going to FAIL.  But if you approach her the way she responds to, your chances go WAY UP.

OK, so far so good.

Now Vin also put out a free video that lays out 8 types of women:

Playette

Social Butterfly

Hopeful Romantic

Cinderella

Your Private Dancer

Seductress

Connoisseur

Modern Woman

Again, if you want to see that video, you’ll have to get on his list:

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/go/pandora.php

And the theory goes that each of these types is a different combination of the three approach types.

But Vin didn’t tie them together yet, and he hasn’t given much detail about how to approach each type for maximal success.

Anyway, at this point I haven’t seen much more than you have.

I’ll try to get some more sneak peaks and keep you posted.

But I did sit down and do my best to figure it out myself.  And here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

This chart won’t mean much unless you see Vin’s video, so make sure to sign up and see that if you haven’t already:

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/go/pandora.php

Now, I don’t know if I’ve nailed it or not, but this is my best guess. I don’t even know if my way of understanding the three “Question-Lines” is quite right, so that could affect whether I’ve matched it up right.  But I think this is close.

Here’s what I’d like you to do.

Read through the “One Minute Mind Reading” book again.  Watch the video again, and then, . . .

If you have any different ideas about how the different types match up with the time line, the sex line, and the relationship line, please post your ideas below.

Or, feel free to just post your respectful comments and questions below.  I should be around some to interact.

Cheers.

Tyler

P.S. I’m REALLY excited to see Vin’s new system in full.  I think this is  one of the only gaps left from my own teaching.

I’ve taught you how to be generally socially smooth through trigger-banter style flirting.

And with Avatar Seduction, I showed you how to take a woman from being interested to the point where she wants to sleep with you.

The missing piece is exactly this – how to generate the specific interest and attraction that gets you into conversation in the first place.

And profiling is a way to double or triple your chances of success.

And this seems like a VERY good profiling scheme.

Seriously, pay attention to what Vin is doing here.

Peace.

Tyler.

Just want to clarify some things that came up in replies to my first Tiger Woods Post:

http://alphamaleplanner.com/blog/2010/02/tiger-woodss-4-biggest-mistakes/

I have three points I want to empahasize:

1.  I am not advocating that we make promises to women and then break them.  I am saying we need to be very careful to promise only what we can deliver on. Most young adults don’t have a clue what they’re doing when they stand there before the preacher, hormones flooding everywhere, and promise to be faithful for the rest of their lives.

Because of this, . . .

2.  We, as a society, need to re-think the kinds of promises we allow young people to make to each other.  Allowing people to promise lifelong monogamy when under the influence of peer pressure and hormones seems completely irresponsible for society to allow. 

Think about it the next time you’re at a wedding, looking at the over-confident bride and groom who think the statistics won’t apply to them.  Most older adults know better, and I think it’s shame that we let young people do this to each other.

If you think it’s a good thing to allow those kinds of promises, please make your defense below by leaving a comment.  If you want to use Bible verses, fine, however, because I’m directly calling into question the Biblical morality on this issue, I’m really looking for good reasons outside of Bible verses.

We can surely come up with better alternatives to those kinds of promises. Marriages that last 3 years and then must be renewed to continue?  There’s an idea. That would solve some of the problem.  Open marriages?  Might work for some. More structure to the contract, so that if one feels trapped one can get out?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that Marriage is the last remaining slavery contract allowed in the western world.

3.  What do you do if you already made a “lifelong monogamy” promise, and now you feel helplessly trapped?  That’s a hard one.  It’s easy to say Tiger should not have married in the first place.  It’s easy to say that he should have only made promises that he could keep.  But he was a young idealistic foolish kid (like all of us were at one point), and he did the deed.  What now?

I don’t know.  I think you should always be able to re-negotiate at some point — and without the full weight of social judgment falling down on you for it.  Tiger should have tried renegotiating before cheating.  I will agree with that. 

But I won’t agree with those who say: “it’s just “too bad, you might have been young, foolish, under the influence of hormones, and under the influence of peer pressure, but, too bad, you have to be miserable the rest of your life, because a promise is a promise.”

Your thoughts?

Tyler

Tiger is in a position to be the biggest Alpha Male in the whole world, but he’s acting like a little beta or gamma chimp right now. All the beta chimps in the media are pouncing on him, and he’s letting them get away with it.  It’s like he’s cowering in the corner picking at his sores and pulling out his fur from the stress and shame.  It’s pathetic.

I wish I could talk some sense into him, but he likely wouldn’t listen, even if I could get past his bodyguards.

Tiger Woods has made some big blunders in his life, but, make no mistake, . . . Tiger’s mistakes aren’t the biggest lesson to take away from his sex scandal. After listing his mistakes, I’ll tell you what I think the main takeaway is for aspiring alpha males.

From my point of view, here are:

Tiger Woods 4 Biggest Mistakes In This Sex Scandal:

1.  Choosing a wedge instead of a 9-iron on the 14^th at Augusta in ’02.

Just kidding.  Moving on . . .

1.  Getting married in the first place.  I’m not against marriage completely.  I think once you hit 40 it’s worth considering.  You’ve had your fun, and, if you find someone completely on the same wavelength with you, and you want to lock in, then lock in.  Even if you’re younger, if you find a real sweetie, I can understand it.  Though you might want to explore some more open forms of marriage, because you WILL be tempted to stray, and shouldn’t get into a situation where you give others permission to SHAME you if you stray.

But this applies to mere mortals.  If you’re Tiger Woods, you should not get locked into a strictly monogamous marriage in your 20s.  Period. 

Some of you reading this blog are real players, and women love you.  I know.  But even you have no idea the kind of opportunity a man like this has.  Women seek him out, stalk him, and offer sex all the time.

Who among us would not dip into that once in a while, especially if our job required us to travel all over the world with free time in strange cities and 10 offers from hot women with good logistics in each place?

Seriously.  That’s just nuts, and anyone who expected him to do other than he did has their head up their ass.  They are delusional are not clear-headedly understanding human nature for what it is.

Sex counseling is not going to make that go away.

Tiger should have remained single, or explicitly arranged an open marriage.

Not his fault, though.  Others around him with more understanding of the big picture should have helped him understand his choices better.

2. Not manning up once caught.  Tiger’s done plenty of “kissing up”, but not much “manning up.”  Here’s what he should have done.  He should have said, “you know what, I’ve tried to have it both ways, and now I’m caught.  But I’ll be damned if I’m going to suck it up and deny who I am.  I’m one of the highest status males on this entire fricken planet, and I made a mistake getting into a lifelong monogamous arrangement in my 20s.  But I’m going to fix that and arrange a life more fitting of a super alpha male.  I’ll propose that we open our marriage.  If Elin doesn’t go for that, then she can deal.  She’s got it pretty good, you’ve got to admit. And I’ve got the money to make sure everyone is well taken care of.  If I need to divorce, then so be it.”

3. Bending over and grabbing his ankles while a hypocritical media spanks him for doing what any of them would do if they had his status.  I think this one speaks for itself.

4. Trusting Rachel Uchitel.  She blew his cover.  He shouldn’t have trusted her.  But, frankly, this was a little mistake given all the bigger mistakes above.  If it hadn’t been her, it would eventually have been someone else.

OK, so Tiger’s made some mistakes. And the mistakes aren’t the mistakes the media and conventional wisdom wants you to think were his mistakes.

And one of the takeaways from this is to not make these same mistakes.

But the biggest takeaway is this:

Don’t Give People Permission To

Shame You For Being Who You Are

Traditional marriage is often just that.  It’s giving a woman and all her friends permission to shame you if you have sex with anyone other than your wife for the rest of your life.

Most of us grow up and assume there aren’t any other options.  Marriage is just the way things are done, and that’s how marriage works.

But wait, . . . you are a free agent.  And you need to protect your interests.

If a woman wants you to marry her, you need to have a frank talk that goes something like this:

“I’m a man, and I like having sex.  I love having sex with you, sweetie, and I love being with you, but I’m still tempted to have sex with other women, and I probably will want to have sex with other women at some point in the future – statistically it will probably happen.

If we get married you’ll try to claim most of the money I’ll make in my life, and, if we have kids, you’ll expect me to be satisfied with less sex and attention.

On top of all this, I will be giving you, your friends and your family permission to shame me if I have sex with another woman.

Now, honestly sweetie, why should I put myself in that position?”

Then let her consider starkly what she is actually asking of you.  If she’s going to seriously ask for that kind of control over you explicitly, then she’d better make a seriously good offer to you to make it worth your while.  For starters, she could promise you blow jobs every fricken morning for the rest of your life or something like that.  And if she starts slacking, you have permission to start slacking. 

Seriously, write that into the vows and make her say it in front of everyone

If you aren’t one of those rare guys who really can be satisfied with one woman the rest of your life, you have a choice.  A) Have a tough, frank discussion right there, and negotiate an arrangement that protects your freedom and self respect.  B) Have a Tiger Woods-style blow up later.  Or  C) toe the line and deny your nature the rest of your miserable life. 

It’s up to you.

Peace.

Tyler.

P.S.  Please, I want to know your thoughts . . . respectful comments are welcome.

They all speak English (or whatever your first language happens to be), but you soon come to realize they know nothing of your world, and there’s absolutely no way they can.  Think of it as a different galaxy, or a different dimension.

Since there’s no contact between this new world, and your old world, they don’t know how you acted in your old world. They don’t know your old personality. They don’t know the principles and values you subscribed to in the old world.

With these people, you have a completely fresh start – a blank slate on which to write your own new personality.

What would you do?

Would you be the same person you are in this world?  Would you try to live the same way?  Would you hold the same values?  Or would you try to live life in a whole new way, casting aside all the baggage that plagues you in this world?

I have a guess what you’d do.

It’s probably the same thing I’d do.

I think you’d largely start over, and create the kind of life you wish you could live in this world. Freed from the social pressure to live the way others in this world expect you to live, you’d create a whole new life.

The truth of the matter is, we all hold many of the values we hold because we are social animals, and other people expect us to live in ways that make them comfortable.

And the truth is, . . .

Many of the values we think we subscribe to

would not survive teleportation to a parallel universe.

The same is true for women.

We’re going to make use of that fact to seduce women who want to be seduced.

It’s coming soon in my new book.

I’ve actually been writing it off and on for the last couple months, and the wait is almost over.

Writing the book has really tightened up my game, and I seriously haven’t missed for 3 months — once the girl is attracted and in conversation, that is.  I’m still getting maybe only one in two approaches to hook enough to give contact info, and maybe half of those to have enough interest to meet for coffee later.  But once they meet with me, it’s OVER.  Seriously, not one miss in December and January.

I’ll keep you posted. It’s coming soon.  And I’ll keep it affordable.  Maybe a bit more than the flirting book, but not a budget buster by any means.

Tyler.

P.S., feel free to share your thoughts.  Respectful comments will be posted. Disrespectful comments won’t.

==================

SOME CLARIFYING REMARKS

==================

Wow, this post seemed like a good idea at the time, . . .

Unfortunately, I think it’s off target a bit, and I want to clarify what I’m really trying to say here in this preamble.

I’ll leave the original post intact, because it does have some good stuff, but it needs serious qualification and clarification in hindsight, so that’s what I’m doing right now.

First, I am not saying to only flirt with women who want to flirt (the original title of the post). 

I need to make a distinction between “flirting” and “gaming”.

You should “flirt” with anyone.  That’s partly your way of finding out which girls are game, and which ones aren’t.  And it’s also your way of letting women know that you’re game, and fun, and smart, and all that.

Gaming, however is the next step. It’s when you try to draw a particular woman into conversation for the purpose of starting a romantic/sexual relationship with her.

When it comes to gaming, it’s often best to notice which women are game, and which aren’t.  If there are attractive women giving out signals that they’re game, pay attention!  They’re trying to make it easy for you.  And if there are attractive women giving out signals that they’re not game, then I’m just saying, you might consider saving your energy.  Not written in stone, but often a good idea.  Focus on the ones who want to play.

And, let me re-iterate that you will not get as many “come play with me” signals if you don’t know how to flirt.  That’s a big part of how you draw them out.

=====================

ORIGINAL POST FOLLOWS

======================

Sorry, I haven’t written in a while. I’ve got a lot to say, but haven’t had much time to write lately. I’ll try to write more regularly going forward.

Let me start by asking your opinion about an interaction between a man and a woman at a Coffee shop.  What do you think of this approach?

Him: Hi

Her: Hi. 

Him: So, are you on your way to work?

Her: Yeah.

Him: What do you do?

Her: Blah.

Him: Oh, you’re a Blaher, . . . so if I needed some blah right now, you’d be the one to hook me up, right?

Her: Laugh.

Him: I like your laugh.  I want to make you laugh some more.  Hey, listen, I know you’ve got to get to work, but I’m enjoying you. How crazy would it be if you gave me your phone number or email address, and I had a chance to get you to laugh for me some more.

 [He pulls out a pen and grabs a napkin, or offers his phone for her to enter her number, or tries to get her to call him right there, or whatever]

Sounds a little cheesy, right?

And notice that this dialogue breaks a lot of the rules that so-called pickup artists will tell you.  It breaks some rules I’ve taught as well.

First, it starts with boring topics.  “Hi”.  “Are you going to work?”  If you ask some “experts”, those kinds of questions are to be avoided at all costs.

Second, the frame around the interaction might be questionable.  When he offers to make her laugh some more, it’s like he’s a little dancing monkey offering to entertain her, right?

Question: So, what do you think the odds are that the man gets the contact info?

Answer:  it all has to do with the woman’s frame of mind.  In some situations that approach would actually work like a charm.  Let me explain.

Here’s a general principle:

“If she’s ready to play,

don’t overcomplicate things.”

If you’re just starting out, and haven’t built your social intuition much, you might be trying to jump-start your love life by trying to talk to every woman you can.  And that’s alright, because you will learn an awful lot very quickly.

But once you’re comfortable in your own skin, and have enough skill to manage a conversation for a few minutes with a new woman, you can relax and start working on your “mind reading” skills.

Then you can have a little more discretion about whom you flirt with.

If you ask me, I’d much rather approach a woman who has indicated that she’d like me to talk with her, than to approach someone who’s busy and try to persuade her that she should talk with me – let alone trying to take a woman who has actually indicated the opposite – that she’s NOT interested in talking – and try to get her interested in having a conversation.

If she’s not giving signals of openness, you need really good game to get into a good conversation, because sometimes she’s not game, and you have to convince her to talk with you.

On the flip side, if she’s already giving signals of openness, before you first talk to her, good game can actually get in the way.

And here’s a news alert . . . the same news alert you might have to hear several times to believe, but it’s very, very, true . . . WOMEN, ESPECIALLY SINGLE WOMEN, AND WOMEN WHO ARE BORED WITH THEIR CURRENT PARTNER,WANT TO FLIRT WITH MEN, AND THEY WANT TO FIND MEN TO HAVE SEX WITH – NOT ALL THE TIME, AND NOT WITH EVERY MAN, BUT OFTEN, AND THEY ARE OPEN TO A WIDE VARIETY OF MEN  (I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY, MY READER, BUT THERE ARE PROBABLY MANY WOMEN WHO WOULD LOVE TO FLIRT WITH YOU).  WOMEN ARE OFTEN VERY HORNY AND GET VERY DISAPPOINTED WHEN MEN CAN’T READ THEIR SIGNALS, OR WHEN MEN BAIL ON A GOOD CONVERSATION BECAUSE THEY FELT NERVOUS, OR WHATEVER.  WOMEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT’S NOT THEIR IDEA, BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE SCHEMING FOR WAYS TO GET YOU TO TALK WITH THEM.

So, . . .

What Are The Signals?

First, let’s talk about what signals a woman gives when she is NOT open to talking.

Have you ever been standing at a spot a woman is approaching, and, all of a sudden, she acts like her phone is ringing, she puts it to her ear, and doesn’t even look at you as she brushes by?

That’s her signaling that she’s not in a mood to play.

Don’t take it personally. It’s the same thing you probably consider doing when you see a beggar ahead on the street, and you’re not in a giving mood.

Don’t worry about these situations.  It’s human.  Sometimes women are in the mood to play, and sometimes they’re not. 

I wouldn’t advise you to try to push through her defense in a situation like this.  There are so many women out there who want to play, why badger someone who’s not?  She could have a hundred reasons for not wanting to play right now.  She’s in a hurry, she’s in love with someone else, she doesn’t like the way you look, who knows? 

OK, so now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,

what does it look like when

a woman WANTS to flirt?

Have you ever been browsing books at a bookstore, a woman walks by in the aisle on one side of the stacks, and then you see her coming around the other side of the stacks, looking like she’s browsing the books a couple sections down from you? 

Guess what?  She probably wants you to start a conversation with her.

It’s the same thing you do when you see a woman you want to talk to and you’re feeling shy.  You try to position yourself so a conversation will “Just happen”. 

If you find her attractive, don’t let her down.  If you have a great playfully arrogant line of trigger banter, deliver it with gusto.  If not, just say “Hi, what are you looking for over there?”

Now, let’s first ask,

What’s the worst that can happen?

 She could get a little stiff, and answer with one word answers and start staring at the books again.

That’s a signal she doesn’t want to play.

You say: “Have a nice day”.

You could plow through, but why not look for someone else giving you positive signals.

And that’s just the worst case scenario.  It’s good to have that in mind, so you know your default plan if it happens, and so you know it’s not so bad.

What’s more likely is that, . . .

She’ll Engage You In Conversation

 She’ll say something like, “Oh, I don’t know, my sister told me about this book that was about vampires, and it was, . . . blah, blah, blah.

Guess what?  You’re in.  Just go with it.  If the conversation goes well, invite her for an instant coffee date.  Or get her contact info.

Try to float mildly sexual topics (ease into it), and see if she goes along with it. If so, she’s probably got a little interest in you sexually.

In general, if things are going well, you want to set certain frames and elicit certain values, but that’s a topic for another day. (Did I mention that that’s the topic of my next book?)

If you’re interested, don’t bail on her without getting contact info, or getting CLEAR signals that she’s not interested.  You might bail on a good opportunity.

Now,

Here’s A Question You Might Have At This Point

If normal boring conversation topics work when a woman’s interested, do you really need to know how to flirt?  What about the book “Flirting Deconstructed”?  Is that all swept under the rug now?

Why not just wait until you spot women who wants to talk, and just do normal boring conversation?

Well Trigger-Banter-Style Flirting is still as important as ever.  Here are a couple reasons why:

1.  You have to flirt some with a woman as you’re getting to know her. You can’t be boring, boring, boring all the time and get away with that – at least not with any interesting woman.  And being good at trigger banter will help you guide the frame as you get to know the girl.

2.  Unless women know that you’re game, they won’t be as apt to give you signals that they’re game.  If you’re good at trigger banter, making other people laugh with some playful arrogance, or warm dominance, or cocky funny humor, or whatever you want to call it, you will find that girls start giving you many more signals of openness.  You’ll have a lot more to work with.  I promise!

If you haven’t had a chance to pick up my book Flirting Deconstructed, here’s the link.  It’s inexpensive and life-changing:

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/fd_oto.php

Take care,

T.P.

P.S.  Feel free to comment on the content of this post.  I’d love to know what you think.  [Feel free to disagree, too, but respectful comments only, please]

Trigger Banter Flirt Routine I Know

OK, I wasn’t going to share this.  I’m usually torn on things like this.  I want to share very good flirting lines and tips with you to help you trigger better reactions from women.  But I’m also hesitant to share my very very best stuff, because I don’t want women to hear my best lines everywhere they go. And besides, I’m teaching you the best system in the world for coming up with your own great flirting lines.

Anyway, I’m going to share my most reliable piece of opening-phase banter with you today.

Here’s why:

1.  I don’t think women will get tired of this one even if every guy in the world winds up using it.

2.  I’ve actually seen another dating teacher teach this one, so the cat’s already out of the bag a little bit.

You might even use this one already. Probably not, though.

I’ll get to it in a minute, but first, I’m sure you’ve heard that you should avoid “ordinary boring conversational topics”.

I have a differnent view.  I think . . .

You can use ordinary boring

conversational topics

to your advantage.

If you do it right.

What are the so-called “boring questions”? 

What do you do?

Are you in school?

What’s your major?

Do you have kids?

Where did you grow up?

How long have you lived here?

Do you live around here?

Can those questions lead to a dead conversation?  Yes.  Do they have to?  No.

The key is this:

BORING QUESTION RULE:  If you ask a “boring question”, you must PLAY with her answer.

And, . . .

That gets me back to my

favorite opening banter line:

I will often, very early in the conversation, ask a woman what she does for a living, or, if she’s in school, I’ll ask her what she’s studying. 

And then . . .

I play with her answer.

If she says she’s studying radiology, I’ll say “Oh, good, so if I were to break my leg right now, you’d totally help me out.  You probably have X-ray equipment right in your backpack, right?”

She laughs.  She feels like you value her for something other than her looks.  And you frame the interaction as one of her being ready to SERVE you in some way.

Give me another one.  Just shout it out.

HER: “I’m a massage therapist”.

ME: “Oh, good, so if I suddenly get the worst cramp ever in my hand, you’d totally be able to heal me, right?”

Another one . . .

HER: “I walk dogs for a living”.

ME: “Shoot, I was going to bring my dog to the coffee shop today, but decided not to.  You would have totally walked my dog all over the coffee shop, right?”

For some reason the word “totally” seem to work in this context.  It conveys a kind of hype and enthusiasm that tells her that you’re doing some fun role-playing.

I totally don’t usually talk like that.

It also helps to not go too pervy here.  Notice with the massage therapist I had a “hand cramp” that she could help me with.  I wasn’t making jokes about “happy endings”.

Anyway, give that a shot the next time you talk with a woman.  Use it even on women you’re not attracted to — just to get the practice in.  I even use it with little old ladies.  “My goodness, I can tell, if you were my Grandma, you would totally bake me cookies every day, even though my mommy told you not to.”  They all love it!

If you want more advice about triggering good reactions from women, and you haven’t gotten my book yet, here’s a link to the page where I offer it at a discount:

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/fd_oto.php

Take care.

Sincerely,

T.P.

P.S. Feel free to comment on this line, or share your success stories using lines like this.

I don’t think you should work at having a positive mental attitude. I think it can hurt your chances with women. In fact, I think it can hurt your chances of success in almost any endeavor. Toward the end of this article I’ll tell you which attitude will help you attract women more.

But first,

here’s the problem with a

positive mental attitude . . .

A couple years back I was reading in a forum devoted to dating and attraction. And someone suggested that the best way to get good approaching women was to approach 20 sets a night and try to get “blown out”.

For those of you who are new to the dating and attraction online community, “approaching 20 sets” means that you engage 20 women, or groups containing women, in at least a little chit chat. And getting “blown out” means that, at some point, they either go cold on you, walk away, or ask you to go away.

I also remember one of the main moderators of the forum, and a major personality in the field, telling the guy he thought it was a terrible idea.

What do you think?

A) Good idea.

B) Terrible idea.

Before I tell you my answer, let me tell you that the moderator believed guys should go into every set believing 100% that they would succeed with this set.

OK, now, my answer is that I have a qualified agreement with the poster, and not the moderator.

Let me qualify the answer a bit. I’m not sure it’s the best idea to go in and “try” to get blown out. But I do think . . .

it’s good to go in and
EXPECT to get blown out.

Let me explain.

Here are two alternatives:

Approach Attitude # 1: When you approach a woman you should believe 100% that you will succeed in attracting her, and eventually getting her into bed and/or a relationship.

Approach Attitude # 2: When you approach a woman you should believe that it probably won’t go anywhere, but you’re going to take your chances anyway.

There are some things to be said in favor of a positive attitude:

One idea behind having the positive attitude is that having a positive attitude will motivate you more.

Another is that will help you get into the frame of mind of a man who always gets the girl, and the girl will pick up on this and assume you’re good with women and will be more attracted to you.

Some people also believe in a new-age type process that ensures that if you release your positive intention into the universe, the universe will help you find a way to get what you want, if only you truly believe.

HOWEVER, . . .

Suppose, in spite of your evidence to the contrary, you manage to believe you will definitely succeed on your next approach. And suppose you approach a woman, and it doesn’t go that well. What then? Do you beat up on yourself for not “believing enough”?

Do you “trick” yourself yet again? Do you forget all your past failures, and pretend you’re superman again before the next approach?

At what point are you a pathetic delusional over-optimist?

At what point do you stop believing your own bullshit?

A positive mental attitude eventually wears thin. And it can keep you from looking frankly at your interactions so you can figure out what actually works, and what doesn’t in the real world.

So, . . .

What attitude should you have?

Mark this down.

It’s the key attitude for success in any field.

Key Success Attitude: “Expect to fail, but try anyway”

And this should be paired with a followup rule:

Key Followup Rule: “Learn something from each interaction, adjust your approach, and try again.”

This is how Edison created the first viable lightbulb.

This is how good businesses grow.

This is how you get better at video games and sports.

This is how you get better with women.

Now, the initial attitude is very important for approaching women. But there’s a lot more to it than that. You also need some things to say, and you need to experience enough responses from women, so you can handle contingencies as they come up. (In other words, you know that “if she says or does X, I say or do Y”).

If you want to get good approaching women, here’s my advice.

If you haven’t read my book yet, get it, read it, and start building your flirting skills (it really teaches you the process of learning from failure, modifying your approach, and eventually having a great line for every situation):

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/flirting_deconstructed.php

(Note, the price will be rising soon, so get it while it’s cheap.)

If you have read Flirting Deconstructed, then, second, . . .

If you haven’t read Joseph Matthew’s “Art of Approaching” guide, get that and read it. (if you can’t afford his paid book, at least get the free book he’s offering — but you’d better be seriously poor to not want this serious shortcut to getting good with women for such a pittance. Women can sense it when a man isn’t willing to take charge of his own destiny! For a little more, he offers coaching, too.):

http://www.alphamaleplanner.com/go/aoa.php

Once you’ve read both of those, then get out there and keep trying, keep learning, and keep adjusting. You will get good.

Take care.

Sincerely,

T.P.

P.S. I’d love to know your comments on this post. It’s something I’ve been wanting to share for a while.